Ever found yourself navigating the emotional maze of a sexual or romantic connection, unsure if it’s leading anywhere or just going in circles? Welcome to the world of “situationships!”

We’ve all seen them play out in movies and TV shows. From Ross and Rachel’s “We were on a break!” drama in *Friends* to Meredith and Derek’s on-again, off-again romance in *Grey’s Anatomy, situationships often make for great entertainment—but they aren’t as fun in real life.

A situationship is like a romantic connection that’s “almost there” but without the clarity or the commitment of a full-fledged relationship. It’s where labels, future plans, and emotional connection are as elusive as a well-guarded secret.

If you’re scratching your head wondering if you’re in a situationship or just stuck in relationship limbo, these telltale signs will help you figure out what’s really going on.

Defining a situationship: more than friends, less than partners

A situationship is a relationship that’s more than just friends but not quite partners. It’s the “in-between” stage where things feel—xual or romantic—but lack the clear definitions and emotional depth of a committed (open or closed) relationship.

Think of it like this: you watch Netflix and chill regularly, but there’s no real discussion about future plans or emotional connection. Maybe it happens on the regular, but it’s not solid.

People in situational relationships might share sexual intimacy but avoid labeling the relationship. It’s like having all the perks of a romantic partner without the obligations that come with full commitment.

That very convenience is what can make situational relationships beneficial sometimes, but tricky to navigate.

Signs you might be in a situationship

1. Lack of labels

One of the biggest signs you’re in a situationship is the absence of any defined labels. Are you “just hanging out” or “seeing each other?” The DTR (Define the Relationship) conversation feels awkward or avoided altogether, leaving you in an ambiguous space where you’re not quite sure what you mean to each other.

2. Best case: they use the label Situationship.

Some people might be very good at communicating their needs, limits, and desires. If they say they are looking for a “situationship”… You can ask what that means to them. Do they want sexual exclusivity, or can one or both people see other people? How often do they want to see you? Is there an emotional, romantic, or friendship component, or is it strictly sexual?

What prompts them to want this: a busy schedule, trauma history, fear of attachment, you’re not exactly their type, or something else?

3. Emotional ambiguity

In a traditional relationship, there’s a sense of emotional security. In a situationship, however, you may find yourself frequently confused about the other person’s feelings. Are they into you, or is this just a fling? Conversations about emotions may feel vague or avoided entirely.

4. Inconsistent communication

Texting is often the primary mode of communication in situationships, but it’s inconsistent. One day, your phone might blow up with messages, and the next day, radio silence. This rollercoaster of communication keeps you guessing where you stand.

5. No future plans

Planning for the future? Forget about it. While serious relationships involve discussions about vacations, family gatherings, or even next weekend’s plans, a situationship rarely ventures into future territory. If your conversations revolve mostly around the present, it’s a sure sign you’re in a situationship.

6. Physical without emotional connection

Physical affection may be abundant, but deeper emotional intimacy can feel lacking. You may share passionate moments, but meaningful conversations about feelings or future aspirations seem to be missing. This imbalance of physical versus emotional connection is a classic indicator.

7. Exclusive, yet not committed

You may not be dating other people, but exclusivity doesn’t equate to commitment in a situationship. You might assume you’re the only one they’re seeing, but that doesn’t mean they’re committed to taking things further. Sometimes the motivations for this are health-based or desire-based, such as a desire to let go of condoms.

The emotional rollercoaster of situationships

Being in a situationship can feel like you’re stuck on an emotional rollercoaster. One day, you’re excited about the connection, and the next, you’re filled with doubt.

This inconsistency can take a toll on your emotional well-being.The lack of clarity might make you anxious, especially when oxytocin (the “cuddle hormone”) kicks in, tricking your brain into thinking there’s a deeper connection. But once the thrill of physical intimacy fades, you’re left with confusion and emotional withdrawal.

What to do if you’re in a situationship

So, you’ve identified that you’re in a situation. Now what? Here are some steps you can take:

1. Reflect on your needs

Be honest with yourself about what you want. Are you okay with the ambiguity, or are you craving a deeper, more committed relationship? Understanding your own needs can help you determine whether this situation aligns with your goals.

2. Stay Safe.

Just because someone has expressed a desire for sexual monogamy with you, does not necessarily mean that they are “into you”. Sexual monogamy can be a way to control who you see (only them) and a way to convince you to abandon sexual protection. If you don’t trust someone with your heart, can you trust them with your health and safety?

3. Communicate openly

If you’re not satisfied with the current state of things, have an open conversation about it. While this might feel awkward or even daunting, it’s the best way to clarify where both of you stand.

4. Take a break for self-reflection

Sometimes, it’s best to step back from the situation and take some time for yourself. Use this break to reflect on whether the interaction is worth pursuing or if it’s holding you back from finding something more fulfilling.

5. Move on

If the situationship is leaving you feeling more confused than content, it might be time to move on. Ending things can be difficult, but if you’re seeking something more, it’s better to cut ties than to linger in uncertainty.

6. Take it to the next level

On the other hand, if you feel like there’s potential for a deeper connection, you ask the other person if they would like to try deepening the emotional aspects of your relationship. Spend more time together, engage in more meaningful conversations, and see if your partner is willing to move toward a more committed relationship.

If they say “no”, accept that. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.

Navigating the situationship spectrum

Situations aren’t necessarily bad—they can work for some people, especially those not ready for a commitment. But if you’re feeling emotionally unfulfilled, it’s important to recognize the signs, and decide whether this situationship is worth pursuing.

Whether you choose to continue with some boundaries, take a break, or move on entirely, the key is to be honest with yourself about what you truly want and not rationalizing yourself to accept less than that.

And if you find situationships suit you well, find others who are looking for the same.